Let me rephrase that...

Conversations overheard…things observed…people encountered. Simple translations Georgie, from Suite 210, devised to get through everyday city life after her day out-and-about….


Upon dropping off several resumes with several receptionists in several establishments:
‘I have an amazing posture. I can stick my nose way up high. I sit with my back straight. I am a receptionist. I can make you wait. I am better than you. See. Stand and watch as I answer my phone. Hello? No, not at all? There is no one here. In front of me? Not at all. How was your night? Me? Great? My back feels just fine.’
(In other words…)
………There's something stuck so far up my ass this is the only way I can sit comfortably. Oh, I sniffed around and figured out what it is. My head. I found it after all!


Upon waiting at the intersection:
(I couldn’t care less that you’ve got on your Ipod, I’ll yell it out again,) “Where’s Burrard?”
(In other words…)
………Sorry, could I bother you for a moment of your precious time? I am an idiot, most likely from the valley. Manners? Is that a restaurant? I am trying to find Burrard Street, but the last guy I asked told me to jump in front of the Burrard Street bus instead. Can you believe it!


Upon walking down the street, any street, or alleyway… sidewalk… park…trail…hallway…gated community…change room…food court line-up:
“Spare some change, please? That’s alright. Have a nice day.”
(In other words…)
………Homeless or not, I’m still the nicest person you’ll meet in this city...


Upon treating herself to lunch at a swanky restaurant:
“If one more car alarm goes off, I am going to jump through this window and beat the living shit of--”
(In other words…)
………Oops. I think that’s my car. Hope nobody noticed.


Upon walking by an open window:
“$500 for a phone?! $500 for a phone?! A fucking phone?! 500 dollars for a fucking phone…?! Are you serious!? A phone?! $500 for a phone!!!!”
(In other words…)
………I have no clue. Whatsoever.


Upon bumping into a stranger in a corridor:
“Ummmmmmmmmmm. The office for so-and-so?”
(In other words…)
………The phrases: ‘excuse me’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, were never taught to me. I am here for a job interview, but I’m stupid. You look like you are here to help the helpless. I mean, obviously. Why else would you be here?


Upon turning down a date at the bus stop:
“Chuck…????”
(In other words…)
………I hate your fucking name.


Ldm.